North49th http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com Most recent posts at North49th posterous.com Mon, 07 Mar 2011 06:23:00 -0800 GREAT NEWS! Apple fixing reception issues with iPhone 5! (picture) http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/great-news-apple-fixing-reception-issues-with http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/great-news-apple-fixing-reception-issues-with

Iphone5small

 

This is great news for all you iPhone owners with reception problems!

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1148119/IMG_1757.JPG http://posterous.com/users/eK4vlzCflv Darren Humphries Darren Darren Humphries
Sat, 22 Jan 2011 20:56:00 -0800 Best fake slogan from a movie http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/best-fake-slogan-from-a-movie http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/best-fake-slogan-from-a-movie

This is from 'Intolerable Cruelty' with Clooney and Zeta Jones.  Its the slogan from a group of divorce lawyers with the acronym N.O.M.A.N.

 

"...let N.O.M.A.N. put asunder"

 

Made me howl. :D

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1148119/IMG_1757.JPG http://posterous.com/users/eK4vlzCflv Darren Humphries Darren Darren Humphries
Tue, 18 Jan 2011 11:48:39 -0800 Net Neutrality is the single largest threat in the Universe!! http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/net-neutrality-is-the-single-largest-threat-i http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/net-neutrality-is-the-single-largest-threat-i
I feel very knowledgeable on everything to do with the internet 'cause I use it every day!  Recently I have been reading up on Net Neutrality...well, not really "reading up" per se but noticed a bunch of headlines about it.  So, here's my take on Net Neutrality:

Net Neutrality is all about the propensity of web designers to use the same colours for every design.  Clearly, blue is the poster child for Net Neutrality and should be avoided at all costs!  I know, you thought it's about grey because of the name but take it from me (I'm on the internet a lot...and read the headlines) it's about blue.  Maybe red too.

So, if you are for (or is it against?) Net Neutrality you should be against (or is it for?) the colour blue!

Down with Net Neutrality!!  Or up...

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1148119/IMG_1757.JPG http://posterous.com/users/eK4vlzCflv Darren Humphries Darren Darren Humphries
Fri, 24 Dec 2010 07:15:36 -0800 My very own "Twas the day before Christmas" http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/my-very-own-twas-the-day-before-christmas http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/my-very-own-twas-the-day-before-christmas
Twas the day before Christmas and all around work,
Not a creature was stirring, except for one jerk.
From speaking too loud on the phone with his spouse,
To surfing all day, clickity click went his mouse!

I in my boots, long johns and cap,
Put down my head to catch a quick nap.
My co-workers sleeping, slouched down in their chairs
In hopes that 2pm soon would be there.

When out of the boardroom there arose such a clatter,
Out strode the bossman to see what was the matter.
The snoring was deafening but his roar louder still,
"Sleeping on the job! All your hands in the till!"

The light of fluorescent bulbs did but show,
His anger smoldered, face lit from below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature twinkle to appease my deep fear!

That little old bossman a taskmaster may be,
But on this one day his face lit up with glee!
More rapid that eagles his executives came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blizten!
To the second boardroom! Just down this hall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
(what a coincidence with those names!)

As dry leaves that before the wild hurrican fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So on to the boardroom, his minions, they flew,
With folders full of paper and a veggie tray too.

And then in a twinkling I heard all around,
My co-workers stirring at the retreating sound.
Their eyes filled with sand, blinking from the bright light
Wipe away the dried slobber and strech to full height.

Back in came the bossman with fur head to foot,
His clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. (ya, no idea why)
A bundle of envelopes were clenched under his arm,
If that was our bonus checks I could buy a new farm!

His eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
He must have been drinking, his nose like a cherry!
His drool, it sat on his chin like a tear,
We sat staring at it with boatloads of fear.

The stump of a check he held tight in teeth,
His combover as usual, did look like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
His cackle would cause it to shake like old jelly.

I was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed at the mirror, in spite of myself!
Not at that moment, in the mirror I spied.
Excuse me for straying, that was an aside.

The bossman ignored the blatant lack of work,
We all looked so happy, except that one jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
A loogie went flying after three or four blows.

He sprang to his limo with his team close behind,
He left no bonus, it probably slipped his mind...
But I heard him exclaim, with a backward glance,
"Happy Christmas to all. Where are my pants?"

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1148119/IMG_1757.JPG http://posterous.com/users/eK4vlzCflv Darren Humphries Darren Darren Humphries
Thu, 22 Jul 2010 10:24:34 -0700 Picture of My New Car! http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/picture-of-my-new-car-0 http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/picture-of-my-new-car-0
Cimg0224

Hey, what do you think of my new car??  Nice, right?

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1148119/IMG_1757.JPG http://posterous.com/users/eK4vlzCflv Darren Humphries Darren Darren Humphries
Tue, 01 Jun 2010 09:45:32 -0700 Random Door is Random? http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/random-door-is-random http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/random-door-is-random
Cimg0135

I am ever so slightly obsessed with this door!  It's right near the elevators at the hospital on the 7th floor.

On the door is a sign that says not to open it between November and May.  So, now that it's June should I just open it!?  At the very least I'm worried a klaxon alarm will bring security running and shut down the elevators.  More likely it opens into an abyss that will suck me right in.  People will only find my shoes outside the door which will cause them to open the door (in an attempt to get rid of my shoes) and be sucked in as well!

Whatever the reason for this door, its clearly nefarious.  I'm going to open the door.  If you find my shoes...back away slowly...

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1148119/IMG_1757.JPG http://posterous.com/users/eK4vlzCflv Darren Humphries Darren Darren Humphries
Tue, 30 Mar 2010 06:56:00 -0700 Oshawa 'Scientists' Plan to Match LHC Experimentation http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/oshawa-scientists-plan-to-match-lhc-experimen http://darrenhumphries.posterous.com/oshawa-scientists-plan-to-match-lhc-experimen

In an attempt to match the accomplishment of the Large Hadron Collider experiment a group of ‘scientists’ in Oshawa are undertaking their own experimentations.  Plans are underway to collide two Adams.

The first of these tests will take place in April in the hallway of their new rented facility inside the head office of the Mary Brown’s Chicken.

We salute these courageous souls and their bold message that “Education ain’t everything”.  March on, brave soldiers!

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1148119/IMG_1757.JPG http://posterous.com/users/eK4vlzCflv Darren Humphries Darren Darren Humphries